Happy New Year: A Poem
Not really a poem and not at all happy.
First they told us it was essential to kill small businesses while Walmart stock soared.
It was essential to deprive children of an education.
Just 15 days, they said.
To save the nurses, who were overwhelmed from practicing their TikTok dances.
“Stay home!” they said.
“Stay home unless you are burning buildings and looting stores in the name of anti-racism, in which case, carry on.”
But the rest of you, stay home. Here, we even made Tiger King to keep you entertained while the economy crumbles.
“Lockdowns save lives!” they said.
But what about the suicides, the overdoses, the alcoholism, the domestic violence, the child abuse, the depression, the untreated heart disease and cancer?
They didn’t mean those lives.
They said not to wear masks, then we should wear masks, then we must wear masks, and we’ll land on no-fly lists for eternity if we can’t keep a mask on our toddlers.
But why did you say not to wear masks? “We had to lie to you. You can’t handle the truth.”
“You must not do your own research,” warned the New York Times.
You’ll get used to it, they said. It’s the “new normal.”
Man, they were fast with that phrase.
Almost as fast as Facebook was at banning “COVID misinformation” to keep us safe.
The fact checkers are paid by pharma but does anyone have the energy to care?
The hospitals sedated patients with death row drugs and then murdered them with ventilators.
It’s the best they could do.
How did they protect the elderly, our most fragile citizens?
They imported thousands of sickened people into nursing homes, that’s how.
Don’t worry! The Governor of New York gave the nursing homes legal immunity because they once gave him a million-dollar donation.
It’s no one’s fault now.
We’re all in this together.
Hydroxychloroquine and zinc, with one acting as an effective vehicle to deliver the other, was saving lives.
“No, it’s not,” Fauci said. “It is!” we said. “We’ll do a study,” Fauci said, and used toxic loads of hydroxychloroquine and no zinc on patients just days from death, who then died.
“See?” he said. “I told you so.”
Quick, someone put this guy’s face on a cupcake.
People treated themselves with NAC, a precursor to help the body make glutathione.
“Enough of that,” the FDA said. “NAC was approved as a drug, not a supplement. We didn’t say anything for 57 years, but sell it now and we’ll arrest you.”
And poof! NAC was gone.
Great news in the vaccine trials! Almost no one in the vaccine group caught COVID except the 3,140 cases of “suspected COVID” but don’t look behind the curtain.
“We must grant emergency use authorization to the vaccines!” they said, “because we’ve looked high and low but we have no effective treatments for COVID.”
Sorry your grandmother died in the hospital all alone.
Hope you enjoyed her Zoom funeral while Gavin Newsom enjoyed a five thousand-dollar dinner at the French Laundry.
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
With European borders closed to Americans, we all flocked to Mexico on vacation, but it was still so dangerous outside that we had to vote for a president by mail.
The vaccines rolled out, as did unexpected deaths by heart attack, stroke, and “sudden short illnesses.”
Want to sue someone? Too bad. The PREP Act prohibits it.
The only people getting immunity in this scenario are the vaccine makers.
Within hours of the installation of our New (World Order) President, the WHO had a novel idea: stop running up the cycle thresholds on PCR tests and just follow the instructions on the box.
Silly labs. Whoops.
Hopefully no one notices the announcement because they’re distracted by the inauguration.
Deaths following vaccination are explained away with preexisting conditions and co-morbidities, the same factors that were swept under the rug for a full year.
The vaccine is safe for everyone they said.
Even pregnant women, despite them being excluded from the studies.
This untested vaccine is safe for your fetus despite the miscarriages but don’t eat unpasteurized cheese.
Don’t read reports from the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting system.
It’s inaccurate, despite the fact we built it, it’s the only public tracking system we’ve got, and we’ve refused to improve it for the last 20 years.
But good news! Children can finally return to school as long as they wear a filthy mask eight hours a day, sit behind plexiglass, don’t hug anyone, and eat lunch on the floor.
Be good and you can earn a breathing break. Maybe.
Show up to school without a mask and we’ll have you arrested.
Even better news! Vaccinated people can’t spread COVID. They’re a dead-end for the virus.
They don’t have to wear masks starting immediately.
The unvaccinated make up 99% of hospitalizations as long as we call a whole lotta vaccinated people unvaccinated because they took the second dose less than 14 days ago.
And as long as we don’t look past the May data, when everyone was freshly boosted.
As long as we ignore the glaring fact that people are attracting the infection after the first dose.
Let’s kick Alex Berenson off of Twitter for stating the obvious, that will keep people safe.
And bring back the masks not because we were wrong but because the science changed and we do nothing if not follow the science.
The teachers’ union wants children to be vaccinated in order to be educated but they are fully opposed to vaccine mandates for teachers.
A child in the trial is now wheelchair-bound with a feeding tube, her injuries reported by Pfizer as “gastrointestinal distress.”
People across the world took Ivermectin to stop the virus because it functions as a protease inhibitor. “Don’t take that protease inhibitor!” they said. “It’s horse dewormer!”
The FDA focused their valiant efforts on raiding the mail, seizing shipments of life-saving horse dewormer.
“Take our new protease inhibitor,” said Pfizer. “It’s called Pfizermectin.”
Rare break-through infections began popping up, benching half the NFL.
How often do break-throughs have to happen before they stop calling them “rare?”
Or stop calling them “break-though?”
“We never said the vaccine would prevent infection,” they said.
Once the vaccinated were taking up 15% of the hospital beds the CDC just stopped reporting the break-throughs.
Then came the healthcare worker shortage brought on by firing healthcare workers who refused to take two doses of vaccine, but we’ll pretend it’s a mystery.
Last year’s heroes are this year’s zeros.
Compliance is freedom, they said.
Taking your freedom without complying is selfish.
The only cure for COVID is communism. The fact checkers said so.
Their coup de grace was in convincing half the nation that immunity from natural infection is not just inferior, but fleeting, relegating the already-immune to the ranks of the great unvaccinated.
Southwest Airlines cancelled thousands of flights over a pilot shortage but don’t say it was a strike against vaccine mandates.
Even when, nine days later, the company changed course and announced no one would be fired over the vaccine mandates.
The vaccines couldn’t provide immunity so they erased the word “immunity” from the definition of “vaccine.”
They mailed breadcrumb checks to out-of-work families while sending millions to Pakistan for gender equality programs.
Don’t worry; the inflation is transitory. Or not, whatever. You saved 16 cents on the 4th of July, didn’t you?
Just raise the minimum wage, we already destroyed the mom and pop shops anyway.
Walmart can afford it.
Sad news, the vaccines are wearing off. I mean, there’s a new variant that is vaccine-proof.
We need more boosters for everyone. Yes, more of the same from six variants ago.
Is that like using a flu vaccine from 2015?
Quick, change the definition of “fully vaccinated.”
Better make sure the word “infinite” is in there somewhere.
Pediatric COVID hospitalizations have quadrupled, we need to get children vaccinated!
Emergency cancelled! We meant “with COVID,” not “from COVID.”
Sorry for the alarm. That was out of line, even for us.
Hurry up and push those vaccine passport programs through, we’ve got 36 governor seats up for election.
No one wants to hear about this anymore.
Twitter kicked off Dr. Robert Malone, inventor of mRNA technology, for posting what their pharma fact checkers call misinformation.
He lost 500,000 followers but gave a Joe Rogan interview watched by 50 million people.
Don’t listen to this guy. Joe Rogan isn’t a doctor.
The only not-a-doctor we take medical advice from is Bill Gates.
Everyone knows that.
As we wind down the pandemic in the US, brutality and tyranny spread across the globe.
Protestors are beaten and attacked with dogs. Some are shot. It’s for your health, you know this already; stop making me say it.
Brace yourself for the climate lockdowns.
They say we must prioritize saving Mother Earth despite their deafening silence about the billion face masks swimming in the sea.